


Collab

by QueenOfAllCorgis



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Infidelity, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-09
Updated: 2018-07-09
Packaged: 2019-06-07 15:54:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,436
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15222596
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/QueenOfAllCorgis/pseuds/QueenOfAllCorgis
Summary: AU. Phil is heartbroken that his boyfriend of six years is cheating on him. With the help of Louise he finds the identity of the mystery man and decides that he isn’t going to let this Dan guy be fooled like he was.





	1. Chapter 1

Don’t cry.

           Don’t cry.

           Don’t cry.

           Don’t…cry…

           Despite his internal mantra Phil couldn’t help the tears streaming down his cheeks. He had  _never_  felt this hurt or betrayed in his entire life.

           Six years they had been together. Six years of giving his entire life to someone else. Six years of putting someone else first. Six years and apparently that wasn’t enough for Michael.

           The shower was still running and he could still hear Michael’s soft singing through the wall. He seemed like he had no idea that Phil’s entire life had just collapsed around him.

            **From Pizza Hut: Thinking of you ;) xoxoxo**

Obviously Phil wasn’t stupid enough to believe that a pizza place was doing this. He felt a little insulted that Michael thought he was too stupid to figure it out.

           There were hundreds of texts from this Pizza Hut guy. They were all sickly sweet or even dirty, which made Phil’s stomach twist. It was obvious that they had been talking for a long, long time.

           The shower cut off and Phil quickly wrote down the number it was saved under before placing the phone back on the bedside table.

           “Shower is all yours babe,” Michael smiled, walking into their bedroom with a towel around his waist.

           Maybe Phil should have told him everything but he couldn’t bring himself to.

           “Thanks,” he murmured.

           “Oh, and I have a dinner meeting after work today,” he spoke up and Phil flinched. “I might be out late so don’t wait up.”

           “Have fun,” by some miracle he managed to keep the venom out of his voice.

           It took five minutes after Michael left for work before Phil called Louise in sobs. His friend was reassuring at first and then got panicked when Phil wouldn’t explain what was happening.

           “He’s cheating on me!” Phil hissed into the phone and Louise let out a loud gasp.

           “That son of a bitch!” She seethed. “That slimy, disgusting, monstrous dickhole! Wait, are you sure he’s cheating on you?”

           “He’s texting this other guy!” Phil pulled his knees up to his chest. “He’s  _sexting_  him Louise! Like all kinds of dirty things.”

           “I’m coming over.”

           There was nothing more terrifying than an angry Louise. She stormed into Phil’s flat, all bright eyes and wild hair. She just spat abuse towards Michael with every step and finally launched herself into Phil’s arms.

           “You’re staying with me. Grab your stuff,” she squeezed him tightly.

           “I’ve given six years of my life to him. I’m not just going to let him see me all weak and broken,” Phil gritted his teeth, finally feeling the anger rush through him. “I bet he’s just using this guy too.”

           Louise’s eyes went wide. “Are you saying we should like…Catfish this guy and talk to him.”

           Phil nodded and she let out a squeal. Moments later they were camped out in Phil’s living room with snacks and his laptop.

           “Let’s crosscheck his phone number,” Louise mumbled as she typed it into the Google bar. Phil had to fight a smile at her intensity and leaned in closer to see. “Apparently he’s in…England.”

           “Awesome,” Phil sighed.

           “Don’t lose hope!” She said brightly. “Do you remember anything else?”

           “Michael had him in his phone as Pizza Hut,” Phil sighed and Louise scoffed. “But he called him Dan in their messages. He’s a Youtuber too.”

           “Why the hell would you not say that to begin with?” Louise quickly went to Youtube and typed in Dan. Of course a bunch of videos popped up and they glanced through them until one channel caught his eye.

           “There!” He pointed at the screen. “Danisnotonfire. That’s him!”

           “You’re sure?” Louise asked, cursor hovering over the name.

           “Michael made a stupid joke about his username being wrong and that he was on fire or something,” Phil leaned in closer. “That’s him.”

           “Let’s see what this bastard looks like,” Louise said under her breath and clicked on the first video.

           The boy in the video was gorgeous. He was smart and sexy and hilarious and every second Phil watched made his stomach sink lower. Obviously Michael wanted someone younger and more sexual than him. He slammed the laptop shut when they watched a truth and dare video where he basically gave oral sex to a banana.

           “Well…”

           “They’re meeting tonight,” Phil sat up straighter. “I’ll just meet him there.”

           He quickly pulled out his phone and tapped in a message to Michael, passing the phone to Louise to get approval.

            **To Michael: Hey baby. I’m not feeling so good. I know you have a dinner meeting tonight but maybe you can swing by before. Do you have time?**

**From Michael: Sorry hon** **L My dinner starts at six so I can’t come by. I’ll get you something sweet though**

**To Michael: Aw** **L That’s okay. The place you’re going better be good.**

**From Michael: It’s Whisper and I’ll get you a chocolate thing.**

A smile flitted across Phil’s face and Louise let out a cackle. He had him.

           They spent the entire day planning for crashing the date. Louise did his hair in the most perfect quiff and dressed him in a dark grey suit with a deep blue shirt that she claimed brought out his eyes.

           “Oh honey, he’s going to wish he had never talked to that boy,” Louise gave him a look. “You look amazing.”

           Phil was the least confrontational person in the world but he felt like he could take on the world. Confidence swelled in his chest and he gave her a kiss on the cheek and went down to meet his taxi.

           The ride to the restaurant was when the anxious butterflies started fluttering in his stomach. With a deep breath, Phil built up the confidence again and was actually pumped up by the time he reached the restaurant.

           It was when he stepped into the door that he realized he really didn’t have a plan. What was he actually going to do? What was he actually going to say?

           His eyes scanned the busy restaurant before they rested on a familiar head of brown hair. Danisnotonfire was just as attractive in real life as he was in his videos. He was wearing a white shirt covered in moths with a sleek blazer over the top. His long fingers tapped away at his phone and the seat in front of him was empty.

           With a deep breath Phil walked to the table, head held up high. He slid into the chair across from the other man and reveled a bit in the startled expression on Dan’s face.

           “I’ve seen your penis,” Phil blurted. Maybe not the best opening line.

           Dan’s eyebrows shot up. “Excuse me?”

           “I saw it on my boyfriend’s phone,” Phil folded his hands on the table in front of him. “Michael. Your contact name in his phone is Pizza Hut by the way. We’ve been dating for six years and living together for four. We were talking about getting married.”

           The other man’s mouth dropped open and he stared at him for a long moment. “Is this a joke?”

           “I wish it was,” Phil laughed shortly.

           “We’ve been dating for a year,” Dan hissed out. “I have been asking him about moving in together and…oh God, now I know why he keeps saying no.”

           “I’m sorry.”

           “You’re sorry? You have nothing to be sorry about!” Dan snapped, looking furious. “That ass wipe used both of us. I feel so stupid.”

           A movement next to the table made them both look up. Michael looked between the two of them, horrified. “Phil, what are you doing here?”

           “I just met Dan.”

           “My business partner,” Michael said quickly and Dan scoffed.

           “Apparently I’m also Pizza Hut,” he said coldly and Michael took a step back.

           “Okay,” Michael combed a hand through his hair. “Can we please talk about this somewhere else? It’s uncomfortable in this big group of people.”

           “You don’t want all these people to know that you’ve been telling me you love me when you’ve really been fucking me on the side? At least Phil was decent enough to tell me what was happened,” Dan spat.

           “How long was this going to go on Michael? Were we going to get married and adopt children? Were you going to continue stringing Dan along?” Phil loved how Michael stiffened.

           “I’m sorry baby, I love you.”

           The moment the words left Michael’s lips it was like Phil had lost control of his body. He stood and slapped him hard across the face. Immediately Dan stood and threw a glass of water at Michael as well.

           “The flat is in my name,” Phil hissed. “I’m getting the locks changed in the morning. Make sure all your stuff is out tonight because I’m throwing away whatever is left.”

           Michael stared at the both of them before practically fleeing the restaurant. There was a long, horrible silence of the crowd before Dan apologized to the smirking waiter. Most people looked impressed and a few clapped.

           “Well,” Phil felt all the confidence leave him in a rush. “I’m sorry for…I’ll just leave.”

           “You don’t have to,” Dan spoke up. “Michael gave me his credit card earlier to ‘buy myself something pretty’. How about we spend it on drinks and expensive food?”

           A grin spread across Phil’s face. “I’m sure I could go for a nice steak.”

           “Perfect,” they took their seats again. “Plus…not to fangirl but are you AmazingPhil? I basically stalk your channel.”

           “Wouldn’t this story make the perfect collab?” Phil laughed and Dan nodded wildly, smile bright.


	2. Chapter 2

        “Hi guys!” Phil waved at the camera and smiled brightly. “Today we have a very special guest! Special guest, make a sound!”

           “What…um…meow?”

           “That was terrible. Welcome Danisnotonfire!” He leaned to the side as Dan popped into the view of the camera.

           “Aw, thank you Phil!” He gave the camera a bright smile and took a seat on the brightly colored comforter. “For those of you who don’t know me, my name is Dan Howell AKA Danisnotonfire.”

           “And boy howdy do we have a story for you.”

           “Boy howdy?”

           “Yeah!”

           “Are you a cowboy?”

           “That’s not an insult, cowboys are amazing. I wish England had cowboys, we just have those newspaper kids who shouted EXTRY EXTRY READ ALL ABOUT IT.”

           Dan rolled his eyes. “Anyway, you said we had a story. Care to start us off Phil?”

           They had planned this segment out carefully. Instead of Phil’s usual goofy costumes or Dan’s cut scenes they were just going to talk. It was more honest and more realistic.

           “Of course you all know my boyfriend Michael right?” Phil asked the camera and Dan fought back a smirk. “Amazing Michael, beautiful Michael, man of my dreams Michael? The guy I said I was going to marry? That Michael.”

           “Oh hey Phil,” Dan started, voice dripping with sarcasm. “That’s so funny, I also am dating a guy named Michael. I mean, it’s a pretty common name though.”

           “Too true. It means ‘who is like God’ by the way. Apparently Michael thought he was like that as well,” Phil let out a sigh. “Anyway, I was getting ready for the day and Michael’s phone was lighting up nonstop.”

           “And, I was getting ready and texting my boyfriend nonstop,” Dan added.

           “So my heart is broken. My boyfriend is cheating on me, he’s seeing another man,” Phil placed a hand on his chest. “I call Louise and we go like deep into our investigation. We do some research and find out that this mystery guy is none other than Danisnotonfire.”

           “Now!” Dan held up a hand. “I know what you’re thinking! I know you’re thinking I’m some slut but I had no idea Michael was Phil’s Michael. Wouldn’t you know it…men are pigs.”

           “So! I get all dressed up and march on down to the restaurant where my boyfriend is and find this guy,” Phil pointed to Dan who made a face and shrugged to the camera. “Obviously I’m an intimidating guy and was going to threaten this guy vying for my man’s affections.”

           “What he means is that he sat down and told me he saw my penis,” Dan broke in. “Important side note, don’t send dirty pictures to people unless you know they aren’t living with a significant other.”

           “Good advice for life there. It was all very dramatic when I revealed the big secret,” Phil waved his arms about. “I mean like bad rom com dramatic.”

           “Rom com?”

           “Indeed Daniel.”

           “It was impressive. I was pissed as hell and Phil here was calm as a cucumber,” Dan laughed and Phil let out a chuckle.

           “What does that even mean? Are they talking about cucumbers that you eat or like…sea cucumbers?” Phil asked and Dan furrowed his brow. After a moment of silence Dan pulled out his phone and looked it up.

           “Apparently the phrase was first written in 1732 but…I don’t know why,” Dan frowned at his phone. “Come on Google, that wasn’t helpful.”

           “Anyway!” Phil waved it off and Dan clapped his hand. “Then the man of the hour shows up and we gave him a piece of our mind.”

           “Phil slapped him!” Dan said with glee.

           “It’s true!” Phil laughed. “I felt equally petty and badass.”

           “So, obviously Michael is single now. Let me tell you that you can’t have your cake and eat it too,” Dan smiled at Phil. “I mean, why would you cheat on Phil? He’s smart and gorgeous.”

           “Shut up!” Phil laughed and shoved him off the bed.

           The two men grinned goofily at each other for a moment before Dan tackled Phil back onto the bed. They fell back shrieking with laughter and finally settled down again.

           “This might not have been the best bonding exercise but Dan and I are pretty good friends now,” Phil poked Dan in the stomach and smirked as he squirmed away. “I mean I was determined to hate him.”

           “I wouldn’t blame him.”

           “But Dan didn’t do anything wrong. You have to think about who is really hurting you. I couldn’t stay in a relationship where I wasn’t respected and neither could Dan. If any of you are in a relationship where they aren’t treating you right it isn’t worth it. Leave.”

           “Seriously,” Dan shook his head. “Life is too short to spend it with someone who lies to you.”

           “So, standing up for myself made me lose a loser boyfriend and gain a friend,” Phil ruffled Dan’s hair, making him squawk. “Totally worth it.”


End file.
